My Paradox

By Diego Martinez

My economics teacher in high school once told me the career path I was heading on was risky.

“There are a lot of writers in the world,” he said.

It didn’t bother me a lot, but that was the first time I noticed that risk. I constantly asked myself, “What if it doesn’t work?”

I kept going, piece after piece, I wasn’t going to let that comment get anywhere near my confidence.

Even though I thought it wasn’t going to, it kind of did. At some point, I lost confidence in my work.

After I had gone a second year straight without a place at state, it only got worse. I started lacking that passion and I couldn’t find myself to believe that I was actually going anywhere with this.

After I had graduated, I started journaling again. I went back to where it all started. I wrote down that I didn’t know where I was going to end up writing. I felt lost and doubtful. What if it doesn’t work?

Eventually, I applied to the NS here at college. I was hired, and I had about a month to get into the habit of news writing again. I questioned my ability; I was worried that I wasn’t ready for college journalism.

A few months into the job I had written a little under 20 stories. I showed great potential and I eventually earned a couple of promotions.

I think back to that comment my teacher made. Anyone can write and call themselves a journalist, but I quickly learned that consistency, dedication and willingness are what shape a writer.

I always asked myself, “What if it doesn’t work?”

After a semester, I can confidently combat that with, “What if it does?”